Happy New Year. At the end before the beginning, I like to sit down and think about my goals and “theme” for the year ahead. For the past eight years, I have been working toward forming habits rather than setting resolutions, and always enjoy the process and the results.

Last year, my theme was “Health,” and while I have been raising a toddler who goes to daycare (so much sick!!) I certainly fulfilled that theme to the best of my ability, taking time every day to focus on my mental, physical, and emotional well-being.

A quick look back on 2023 and how I met my goals:

• I continued to see my personal therapist and took my anti-depressants.
• Ian and I saw a marriage therapist to strengthen our marriage and combat this new stage in our lives. I am so grateful to have a partner who sees me, hears me, and communicates his feelings as well so we can continue to thrive and raise our babies.
• I prioritized exercising 3-4 times a week, including during my second pregnancy. I am now at 33 weeks and still using my treadmill and bike.
• I adopted a “conscious” diet mindset, eating a balanced diet while also enjoying the foods I love. Food continues to be a tough relationship for me, but I am working on it.

2024: The Year of Grace

Grace can mean many things to different people. Webster describes “grace” as:

• unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification
• a virtue coming from God
• a special favor
• disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency
• the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful

In my case, I will be focusing on the last two definitions of “grace.” I am approaching the end of my second pregnancy, and, while people tell me it’s easier going from 1 to 2 kids rather than 0 to 1, I know that I will still hit some road bumps along the way.

While I anticipate a longer maternity leave than with Nora, navigating postpartum and being a mama of two girls will still be a challenge. Nora will continue to go to daycare throughout the week so I can have time with our little girl and Nora can still have her routine. But when I go back to work (which consists of long hours and national travel), or when I want to embrace my many hobbies (writing, blogging, creating, reading, exercising), I fear that my enneagram 3/type A self will start to self-sabotage and freak.out.

Here’s the thing: I am an overachiever. Everyone tells me this. Everyone asks me, “how can you do so many things at once? I don’t know how you do it all.” It’s simply how I operate. I cannot sit and be idle. My hands and mind always need stimulation or I fall into a depression. Sitting and watching a movie on the couch can be agonizing; my mind just doesn’t rest.

So while I work full time, travel for work, and raise two babies while keeping myself alive and my marriage happy and healthy, I will also try to sneak in reading, running a bookstagram, running a blog, running a podcast, writing poetry, crafting, and exercising. I’m tired and laughing at myself just writing it all down.

If there’s anything I have learned as a first-time mom, it’s that I will never be a “perfect” mom, “perfect” employee, “perfect” wife, and “perfect” person all in one day. One of those categories is going to get more of a percentage of myself than the other. I can only operate at 100%, and sometimes, my 40% at work in one day IS my 100%.

I’ve said: “That’s all I can give today” so many times in the past two years, whether it be about work or being a mom. Being a mom, it’s less of the basic taking care of my child and more of the societal pressure to cut her pancakes into ponies or take her to a dino park. Sometimes, when I lie in bed and think about how much of a failure I am (this is an almost nightly occurrence btw), I have to ask myself: Is she fed? Yes. Safe? Yes. Happy? Yes. Did I turn on Ms. Rachel instead of going through the 50 flashcards with her and playing Little People? Yes. Is that OK? Yes. It’s FINE! It’s ENOUGH.

I’ve learned that it’s just so, so important to give ourselves grace — no matter if you’re a mom or not. I may not always practice what I preach here, but I do believe it and try to do it each and every day. Society expects too much of us, and social media pressures us to share our wins and not our losses (though this is getting better and I am so happy to see people sharing their bummers to make us all more human!).

So, this year, I choose to give myself grace every day. That’s it. No smaller goals beyond that. Therapy, journaling, and practicing this mindset will help me form that habit. I choose to celebrate even the smallest wins, which I will be writing down every day (OK, yes. There’s some kind of action item here … it’s just who I am!). I will work hard to brush away the mean Kass voice that tries to point out all of the things I didn’t do that day. Like:

Did I exercise today? Yes. Amazing. Did I get to that item on my to-do list? No? That’s OK, you’ll get to it tomorrow.

GRACE. Give yourself kindness. Be considerate of yourself and thoughtful of what you achieved. Because at the end of the day, I will have sustained two lives (three including myself), and that is a gift. More of a gift than finishing that chapter or writing that blog post. And I know that my friends, loved ones, and followers on here will also lend me that same grace, too.

Grace is an important word to me (it’s part of my podcast title after all!), and I hope you make it a part of your life too.

Happy New Year, friends. Thanks for being here, and thanks for being you.